Why the name, baby idiot jerk?

I am often asked, "What does' baby idiot jerk 'mean?" Do I identify as a baby, idiot, and jerk? While those are valid questions, I often find myself frustrated when giving a response. Only because to me, it feels obvious. At my core, I do not think those words describe me. But I do think it represents the core of humans.

• Since we’ve been babies, our emotions have signaled our needs. When noticing the correlation between anger and hunger (commonly known as hangry), we help ourselves self-regulate by eating if we are feeling cranky.

• We often go through life thinking we understand everything until we get older, and then it starts to sink in how much we don’t.

• People can be jerks, on purpose, or accidentally. We can rub people the wrong way just by honoring ourselves. You don’t like every person, and every person does not like you. And that is okay.

Juxtaposed, I think it is just silly for silly's sake. Silliness and whimsy make life worth living. It is defiant in a world filled with unfair pain and suffering as a reaction to unjust systems rooted in white supremacy, patriarchy, classism, homophobia, and transphobia. I do believe in joy as a form of resistance and a sign of resilience despite these systems. Granted, it isn’t the only way to protest, but I think it helps keep the spirit going alongside other forms of activism.

Baby idiot jerk is just a funny grouping of words that my friend once turned into a little song when teasing someone. Maybe it’s the way I was raised, but I find a good tease to be a love language. When it’s accurate and funny, it shows the person who sees you and loves you. But maybe that is something to unpack with my therapist.

Ultimately, I am Baby Idiot Jerk because it stands out. For better or worse.